Within a minute it’s assembled and placed in the oven, which is a slow-moving conveyor belt oven where pizza goes in raw on one side and comes out the other side perfectly cooked. It’s definitely mine, as I notice the ham, bacon and delicious pineapple on only half of it. At this time I see the Domino’s employee grab a pan pizza from under the counter and quickly put together my pie. Turns out, I didn’t miss a Goddamn thing. I also worry that I’ll have to do a whole other stakeout another day, which means I’d have Domino’s twice in two days, which I probably shouldn’t do if I want to live to see my next birthday. I fear that maybe I missed this happen and that I’m totally botching my mission. From what I can tell, my order hasn’t even been assembled yet, much less already baking in the oven. The tracker hits its next stage and tells me my food is in the oven, but I saw none of this happen. Several pizzas at this time are swiftly put together - a plain, a pepperoni, another pepperoni - but none are in pans and none have pineapple.
I guess that means they’re beginning to make my pizza, but despite this notification, I see no signs that my pizza is being made.
The ovens have been on all day, after all - they’re not firing them up for me, that would just be weird. The Domino’s Tracker says “We’re firing it up,” and I’m not quite sure what that means. It’s the perfect type of location for a stakeout. It’s very exciting! Fortunately, this Domino’s has its kitchen out front behind glass - similar to this picture - so every step of the process can be observed. Once I place it, I notice my order appear on the order screen behind the counter for the pizza makers. Like James Bond sitting next to a cheating classmate in a pop quiz, I stealthily shield my phone from any Domino’s employees, lest my covert mission be exposed. The tracker pops up in my Domino’s app, confirming that my order was placed. I order a half plain, half Hawaiian pan pizza - that way my order is plenty distinct and it can’t be confused with anyone else’s (plus, pineapple on pizza is delicious, go fuck yourself). I’ll eat this in Domino’s while staking out the place to avoid any suspicious lingering.Īs soon as I receive my chicken, I place my order to be delivered to my house. So that I can watch my order being made, I arrive at my Domino’s and place an order for some boneless chicken. Me, steely-eyed and ready to determine just how accurate the Domino’s Pizza Tracker really is. For the record, I’m going into this hoping that the pizza tracker is not in fact a lie, but I’ll be honest, I do have my suspicions, so I plan to get to the bottom of this hunch. Then I’m going to follow the delivery guy in my car until he arrives at my house, where my wife will be ready to receive him. The plan is as follows: I’m going to place an order for delivery while hanging out in the restaurant, then compare each progress mark on the tracker with what’s actually happening with my pizza. If you’re unfamiliar with it, the Domino’s Pizza Tracker is the colorful, light-up progress bar in the Domino’s app that tracks each step of your pizza’s progress, from when it’s first being prepared until it arrives at your home.Ĭurious about its accuracy, I decided to stake out my local Domino’s. Since reading this, I got to thinking about the most important progress bar in my life - the Domino’s Pizza Tracker. Well Dominos has done their job in getting our attention with the pizza tracker….It wasn’t that long ago that I stumbled across a piece in The Atlantic about how TurboTax uses bogus progress bars when completing a tax return. Lather up the sunscreen, kick back, and enjoy this marketing masterpiece: Dominos has since added a Caribbean-flavored version of the pizza tracker which colorfully relays your information via a cartoon parrot and a beyond stereotypical Caribbean male voice-over.
Comments on that tracker “theme” have ranged from “racist” to simply “creepy.” At the time of this post, 21% of voters deemed the execution of that tracker “theme” to be offensive.īut alas, there are multiple theme options for your pizza tracker. As previously reported, one of the customized options contains a voice-over reminiscent of an after hours R&B disc jockey who somehow manages to uncomfortably sexualize the pizza making process. J– Recently we discovered the mesmerizing technology that is the Dominos Pizza tracker – a seemingly well-meaning animation that gives you the customer real-time updates about your order.
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